


Soul's journey

by Unicornshauna



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Adventure, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Badass Rey, Dark Side Rey, Declarations Of Love, Dorks in Love, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, First Love, Friendship/Love, Idiots in Love, Insecurity, It's a Trap!, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren in Love, Love, Love at First Sight, Love/Hate, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Other, POV Ben Solo, POV Kylo Ren, POV Rey (Star Wars), Pansexual Character, Pining, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Kylo Ren, Possibly Unrequited Love, Protective Kylo Ren, Quests, Requited Unrequited Love, Rey (Star Wars) is a Mess, Rey Needs A Hug, Scavenger Rey (Star Wars), Social Anxiety, Social Media, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Trapped, True Love, Unrequited, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Hate, Unrequited Love, Unrequited Lust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:35:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22671103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unicornshauna/pseuds/Unicornshauna
Summary: In a world where soulmates are real but rareeveryone has opinions about them, and two people who live in this world are Rey and Ben. Who have very different ideas about the whole soulmate thing.Ben who thinks it's a wonderful thing the perfect adventure. The only good thing about him and his whole life!And Rey who is less than enthused about being anymore "special" than she's always been. Who has no desire to have anymore of her choices taken away from her thank you very much!
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 10
Kudos: 39





	1. And so it begins

**Author's Note:**

> Here's another 40 minute made  
> *NOT VERY WELL EDITED FICLET*  
> That may grow up to be a full grown story some day  
> if I get the time ...and use it to actually finish something for once instead of running off on other story ideas like a squirrel that got into some coffee wish me luck! And in the mean time I hope that a few of you enjoy this!

Soulmates are a rare thing, some people think that they're a big hoax. Some that they are government made others ...Aliens of course! Some build kinks around them, others whorshipful cults, Some people see it as something to experiment with to study and pick apart...

...and to others they see it as a sick disease or Unfortunate birth defect. Something making them less being born with half of a soul. People would argue that they'd have less conscious, less humanity and others that they were above the law or would somehow have even more to fight for... in a bad way.

Ben, he saw it as a quest a huge journey. The ultimate chase, an amazing guaranteed suprise! The most wonderful thing in the world. The only different thing about himself that he actually liked. Far more than the hopeless things about himself that he had to put up with! His larger than normal ears, his too big too long nose and his girlishly plump lips. Or the moles that spread across his disproportionate face, like a connect the dots that got set aside and never finished.

The only good thing about him, was another person ...Another person that he had never met, and the beautiful ying and yang mark on the inside of his left wrist was his favorite reminder of that!

The promise of someone he could take more pride in than his family, this person carried half of his soul after all! He felt like the luckiest Skywalker that'd ever been! ...not that, that was a very hard title to acquire.

He was ready to go reclaim that other half of his soul and thank the maker... The person that carried it as well!

............................................................................................

Many people saw soulmates as a blessing and many more saw it as a curse.

...Rey, she saw it as the latter, being forced to be with someone she hadn't picked... someone she had never even met. She had, had enough of being told what she could and couldn't do. who to love and who to hate for a whole lifetime. Her whole life was one big suck fest!

Being "raised" by creepy "uncle" Plutt in a junk yard. Being forced to toil away in the aforementioned junk yard...Stripping beautiful machinery that could have been saved with a little love of pieces, down to the bones and leaving the stories the true value behind!

Reminded any and everytime she had any tiny little dreams that they were just that ...Useless dreams that wouldn't help fill her belly! She had to work hard, if she wanted to earn her occasional scraps. A harsh reminder that her only worth was in her labor and the real kicker...

That as soon as her soulmate was found that she'd be sold to them like cattle! She had tried to hide the fact that she had a soulmate as soon as she had found out about them and in turn what the little mark on the underside of her right wrist meant, but by then her fate had already sealed.

She was far too late, Plutt had probably know from the minute he decided to take her in, as a five year old little girl that she had a soulmate. And as always he was hoping to get something out of it.

He was hoping to use her, to tell the poor schmuck who had the misfortune of being her soulmate that he was her loving guardian.That he had run out his last line of credit taking care of her and that they were going to lose her home.

Ha! This place had never been her home, this place had always been a prison, right down too the metal fence locking her in and the unfortunate work with license plates. She probably would prefer a actual prison to this...at least she'd have a chance of working off her debt to society. She'd prefer it completely to working everday, every stupid second for nothing... no chance of escape.

School had been it's own form of torture that she'd rather never think about again! Even if she got good grades and kept her head down, being the scrawny tom boy with too big unstylish ratty hand me down down downs made her a target ...Even before the stupid soulsmark was accidentally unveiled to her class one summer, It was just never going to go well for her.

Almost wasn't worth the freedom she got from her usual prison and warden. Although... the junk yard and Plutt were all she knew how was she ever supposed to escape, to get away? At Least prisoners knew the outside world before getting locked up! She couldn't rejoin a society she'd never been apart of!

Which is why one really dark, really awful night she got an equally dark and awful thought... If she had someone to help her... To use like she had been used her whole life. If she'd just start playing the game by the rules, that everyone else seemed to follow. Maybe she'd finally be able to be Free... Truly Free!

When science made a huge breakthrough! Earned government backing, social media fame and an app was invented. She felt the mist of those same dark thoughts creeping along the darkest corners and crevices of her mind Forming taking shape... this time with an even more solid and clear picture.

Plutt had forced her to get the new app, on the junky smart phone with the cracked screen. That Plutt had given her which he forced her to keep on her person at all times. To constantly let him know where she was when she started high school... to know that she went nowhere but school and back.

It's not like she had anywhere else to go, no friends, no hobbys nothing! ...Besides her fantasies of escape. And sadly the same mental leash that he'd always had on her was still firmly locked around her throat, even now when he had her running errands for him.

Even worse, now he was forcing her to sign away her life by her own hand! Filling out the whole soulmates test profile with angry tears running down her cheeks.

When the beginnings of a dark idea began to form from the seed of her previous dark fantasising. If she was worth so much, if a soulmate would want her badly enough and was naive enough to be tricked into buying her from Plutt... Maybe she could do some tricking of her own! Maybe this person... Her soulmate, whoever they were Could be her ticket out once and for all!

Not just to another prison like school had been. Not like the beat up old shop truck Plutt had her run timed errands in, but True Freedom! She could almost taste it, it was just within her grasp... and after a month of anxious waiting and even more useless toiling and labor.

She got her chance! In the form of a harmless looking little notification. A little heart popped up at the top of her screen and she almost didn't notice it because it was in the part of the phones screen that was broken and blacked out.

While it wasn't a rare ocassion for her phone to buzz for no reason other than the fact that it was really old and seriously broken, when it buzzed a second time she pulled the tab down to take a peek and her heart almost stopped.

When she saw the little heart logo that belonged to that innocent little app it made her own heart race madly in her chest! when she clicked into it there were two messages, One from the apps creator's themselves... It looked like she had been matched to someone very important, or at least someone who's family had alot of money!

It seemed like Plutt would get his wish after all... or at least so he thought!

When she checked the second message this one was from her supposed "soulmate" a sweet, articulate and yet... some how charmingly awkward message.

Every word was weighed down with feeling and thought and it made her heart hurt more than the usual ache. This time there was a pang unlike anything she'd felt in her whole life... like maybe she wasn't doing the right thing? ...Like maybe she was the bad guy??

What really drove that steak home into her already broken heart, was the cute little heart emojis and smiley faces, they were all so cute and obviously had such sweet thought put into them. At the end of the sweet virtual letter this wonderful person had sent her.

In a world where everything and everyone was dark, She herself had always prided herself on being a beacon of light! She had strived so hard for so long to stay that way!

In this moment she realized that her soul... well her half of her shared soul. Was definitely a much darker shade of gray than it had ever been before.

And somehow instead of making her draw back from the dark, from the fire... It made her buckle down and push forward even harder!

She was determined to get out of here before this place could twist her any further... even if it hurt them both... Her and her soul's mate.


	2. First contact

Ben, He was so nervous when he sent that silly little message to his soulmate! It was stupid ...He was stupid! To think that he could impress the other half of his soul with word play, with his own silly version of poetry was madness!

He had an idea that his soulmate might like the same things as him, that they'd like the same stuff as eachother since they shared a soul.

Naive really, that's what everyone called him... What his mom had called him. A silly boy with, a silly heart, too big for his chest just like his father. And while it hurt to hear his own mother tell him these things, he knew they were true!

He may be naive, but he was also kind! And while he may have gotten into trouble before because of it. While he may have gotten hurt because of it before, it was just still no reason to stop loving as deeply, as madly as he always had!

If his soulmate had read his message by now, he was sure they would see the love, the hope he had bleed into every single word. And all he could do was hope and pray that his intensity, that his eccentricity came across as endearing and sweet like his family thought it was and not creepy and smothering like the rest of the world saw it!

The hope that his soulmate found his message as something innocent and sweet, flew away into the wind like a dandelion. Pieces of it slipping further and further with the passing of time. Every minute that They left his message unanswered was another minute for his heart to squeeze tighter and tighter in pain. He knew he was overreacting but he couldn't help it!

This was ridiculous! He knew how the world worked, he may have all the time in the world to sit in his study playing on his phone. Waiting for a reply from a glorified dating app, because of family money and a career in studying maps and books with the family business.But that didn't mean his soulmate had the same kind of time on their hands that he did!

Maybe they had an actual social life! Maybe they were out there somewhere right now at ...at a club! Dancing with someone else, someone who wasn't him, someone who wasn't pathetic, someone who wasn't so damn desperate all the time! He realistically knew that that was highly unlikely at this time of day even if they were in another timezone, they still lived in America!

The app only paired people from the same country, unless you clicked the little button for international matching... but not many people from other countries had signed up yet. Especially since the soulsmate app didn't have any headquarters in any other countries yet.

While Ben was all for adventure and was willing to go anywhere for true love, he was glad that his soulmate had been able to be found in at least the same country!

And even though it was cruel and unusual torture to know that they were searching for his soulmate out there for weeks, he knew in the grand scheme of things it had been a relatively quick and simple process. (Not unlike that of someone searching for their family through an ancestry website)

All of this pondering and reminiscing had taken his mind off of his much Anticipated, much Needed reply to his message. Answer! Answer! Answer already! He quickly changed his mind about wanting a reply, when he saw the three little dots pop up in his notification bar. He'd rather go on living with his delusions of grandeur, of happily ever after and true love! 

But it wasn't meant to be and with a quick swipe down and a gentle press like ripping off a bandaid he had his reply...and what a reply it was! 

.........................................................................................

Rey, it had only been a few minutes and she was worried that her response as false as it's intentions were would shine through. As brightly as the stifling hope had been in the lovely words that her soulmate had sent her first.

She had thrown words into the little text box as quickly as she was know for spitting them out in real life and it made her insecure about her punctuation... About the very way she expressed her self, the vwords she used all would pale in comparison to that sweet letter.

This wasn't really about any of that other personal stuff though, this was all a farse anyways. All a way to trick this poor sweet person into trusting her enough to "save" her just to turn around and stab them in the back.

Get them to pull her out of this hell hole of a town she was living in, just to ghost on them like they had never meant anything... And that's what they needed to mean for this to all work out... nothing

The response that she got to her message was almost instant and when she saw that it was less put together than the first had been, part portfolio, part love letter. This one was just as rushed as her own response had been. It made her smile and when she saw that this person was playing right into her plan, it made her little smile turn into a full blown, dark smirk!

She really wasn't a bad person... but if she'd learned anything in her time on this earth, it was that everyone had an angle that everyone was playing both sides and now it was her turn and she was gonna do her best to enjoy it!


	3. Getting to know you

Ben, He had been so scared at first when the little heart notification popped up on his phone. The one he had been begging the heavens for a second ago, suddenly seemed like a death sentence. He was sure his soulmate was a much better person then he was... Someone way out of his league in looks and in social aspects.

He was so positive of this that he just knew, with absolute certainty that his soulmate. Whomever they were would instantly turn him down flat, after he embarrassingly poured his heart out in his first letter to them. And worse he had an awful feeling that they weren't going to even do it out right. That they'd let him down easy with a kick in the teeth disguised as a gentle pat on the back. They'd rip his heart out with a pleasant smile on their face and rest easy that night.

While he regretted every breath he took, while he regretted ever being born! But he had wasted enough time internally whining, about what could be and wallowing in dark thoughts that weren't likely to come true. Thoughts that his mom and his many therapists over the years had told him to work through and then let go. That his feelings may be real but that didn't make them true! Like Tsoknyi Rinpoche had said.

With one last fortifying breath he bit the bullet and opened the message... And what a message it was! Reading the sweet words, words of comfort and compassion they were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen!

They made the breath freeze in his lungs and his chest fill with butterflies! Silly really that something so simple as a little text could make him feel so happy. He was very willing to except any happiness though in his life. Any and every adventure and this was the start of the best one yet... he just knew it! ........................................................................................

Rey, as soon as she got her response she scrolled back up to the top of their chat. To read back through the length of each and ever one of there first words to eachother. To get some idea of who this person was, of how she came across to them and to make a few assumptions of her own!

From Your Soulsmatch: Hello my soulsmate, it is such an honor to be getting to contact you. It feels like I've been waiting forever to hear from you and in some ways it has been... my whole life anyways. What a gift to this world you are, My better half, My sunshine. Every breath knowing you're out there and meant for me makes every breath lighter. Every day worth living, every morning worth rising and every night worth turning in, waiting for you. May the sun kiss you awake until I can and may the moon kiss you to sleep at night until I can myself. Yours with love, Your other half 💫💞

Your message: Hello soulmate! Your letter was so sweet I really get the sense that we were meant for eachother, just from the few words I've heard from you! I'm excited to get to know you your letter just made my day! Heck my week! I'd love to get to know you a little better if you've got some time. Yours, your sunshine! 💞💫

From Your Soulsmatch: Oh my gosh you actually responded! I mean of course you did, you know that I'm just so excited! I instantly regretted ever single word I'd put as soon as I sent them! Thank you so much for being understanding and not freaking out at my bad poetry. I was stewing over it for so long... not that you took a long time to respond or anything that's not what I meant I'm sure you have a life. A very nice one without me I just hope you might make a little space in it for me. And I'd absolutely love to get to know you better! I've got nothing to do today, nothing at all, nothing as important as you! My sunshine, ask anything you'd like! 

Your message: Well I guess we should start with the basics. Hi I'm Rey! I'm a 22 year old woman, I hope that's all okay, your preferences I mean. This will be a little awkward if it's not, but I've heard of lots of people working out regardless. Anyways I live in jakku Texas (Yes I'm sure you've never heard about it) no one ever really has except the people who live here. And instantly forgotten by those who leave or are passing through. Um not sure what else to say so yeah official hello!

From Your Soulsmatch: Official Hello Rey! I'm Ben I'm a 32 year old man.(a little old to have not found his soulmate I know but I was waiting for you obviously!) I hope that doesn't bother you... anything about me and to answer your silly question if you're my type. You could literally be a space squid and i would still be enchanted by you! I'm actually Pansexual but I just go by Bi... easier that way. And I live in New York a long ways away it would seem! But not a problem I can fly out to see you when ever you'd like, or have you come to see me. I mean you could visit me instead, I'd pay for your plane ticket and everything! Not that you couldn't pay for your own just that, if you happened to be disappointed when you meet me that it wouldn't have been a complete waste. You'd get to see New York and wouldn't have wasted any of your money... okay I'm stopping now.

Your message: Hello Ben, it's nice to hear that you don't have any preferences. I'm actually Pansexual myself! I don't really go by any labels though, I kinda just... like who I like ya know? And that goes for age too... provided that they're as old or older than me lol. New york is definitely a long ways away! I'd love to come visit you! But I'm worried my uncle would be worried about me and want me to bring a ton of stuff. Which I know is super impractical and expensive for air travel... I've always wanted to go to New york and I'm sure that you've never wanted visit Jakku but what can we do? 😕

From Your Soulsmatch: You're Pan too? how cool! We really are two halves of the same soul! 😜 I'm glad to hear my age isn't a problem for you... your age isn't a problem for me either after 21 it's just a number right? Wait was that creepy? I didn't mean it to be! Any the who you live with your uncle? Are you two close? And that's completely understandable for him to be protective of you! And I myself really want you to be comfortable when you visit me... if you still want to whenever you want to! It wouldn't be a problem if you brought everything in your house! I was gonna get you a first class ticket, but if you wanna bring a whole trousseau I can have the family jet pick you up at whatever airport would be closest to you.

Your Message: lol, In that case I'm glad the soulsmatch app was worth the $5 and the soulsmark match process! I know what you meant, it wasn't creepy... until you pointed it out! Just kidding! Just kidding! It did give me a laugh though, It's okay you don't have to be anything but yourself around me. I'm a weird too You're Not Alone! Speaking of, Any the who? Where'd you come up with that it's cute! I'm gonna start using it myself.

Your Message: Me and my uncle are... well we're not close, he just always worries. He doesn't think I can take care of myself thinks I'd die without him! He always has me text anytime I'm going anywhere. It'll be really nice to have a vacation from him where he'd be able to see that I can survive on my own... and to get to see you! Also what's a trousseau? I dont think I'll be needing the whole house... just everything inside it! lol

You're message: And that's so sweet of you! You buying me a ticket at all is so nice, I wouldn't except you to get me a first class ticket or anything! Let alone send your family jet all the way here... but if it wouldn't be to much of a bother I'd love it! It would be like a movie, a trip to New York in a private Jet! Let it be know that I liked you before I heard you had money!

...And she did, she really did like him! but that's not what this was about, it wasn't even about money. It was about getting the Heck out of Dodge!


End file.
